Plenitude 2
Let me try to put the indescribable into words..
This is my 3rd camp so far (and my 1st full camp). The first was Hallius, with all the fish and all the networking on the streets of Changi Village (which made me now realize, hey, no wonder we had such trouble finding youths, since there are really few youths there). The second is last year's I-Faith. With all the 5 "I"s about God. Can't remember all the "I"s now, except for one particular one; that is, that God is an Invisible God, and so everyone who wants to come to God must first believe that He exists, and He rewards those who eagerly seek Him.
Unlike previous camps, I went into this one almost empty and bankrupt. Physically, the few days just prior to the camp was crazily busy in camp. There were times I was considering breaking camp on the 15th just to go back to finish my work. Somehow, I didn't. Instead, I decided not to bother about the unfinished portions. Alright, most parts had been done already, after the furious and mad rush the days before the camp.. But if you know me, I hate uncompleted things. They seem like heavy things over one's head.. I can't stand it. But for some reason, I just, let go. I just left camp. The other temptation would be to keep my phone with me. After-all, there was an inspection of my work on the 15th. And since I was not around, they would want to call me. And in fact, they did. But again, I just decided to put my phone into the plastic bag along with everyone else. If I had not, I would had split attention during the camp. Having to setting things left right and center.. that would totally spoil the mood of the camp. As it is, I could have those 3-4 days not needing to think about anything else. And the world did not implode in my absence. Spiritually, I was no better. For some time before the camp itself, QT suddenly became something of a drag, of a duty to me. There was no joy in it. In fact, I even missed a couple of days of QT, almost deliberately. It was not as if I didn't have time to do it. But I couldn't/didn't drag myself to it...
And of course, the camp itself was fraught with... Seriously, how am I supposed to lead a group? I think I can find just as many reasons or excuses as Moses lo...
But the camp went on. And some of you would have seen this many times already. It was a camp of giving, not receiving. The sessions I could understand, but they did not speak directly to my situation. The worship was wonderful, but it remains worship - adoring God. A total of one person prayed for me (to whom I am exceedingly grateful for). But I prayed for a few people. And though the giving seems to be more than the receiving, by the end of the camp, I was still filled up once again. It was just amazing... This is the first time that I dared to stand up and pray for people in these manner.. And its also a joy for me to see changes in my group members, as well as other people after the sessions..
But there was one scene which really touched my heart. It was the skit by the super Cambodians. Maybe its just for me, because this response is by no means universal (in fact, quite to the contrary). I fell in love with the first scene, that of creation, of God delighting in the girl and the girl delighting in God. The second scene of the parents quarreling and the girl trying to help by giving them the love that God gave her made me sad, when the parents crushed the heart and threw it on the floor. The next 2 scenes totally broke my heart, with the friends asking her to smoke, then tearing out a corner of the heart, and later, the guy who pushed her, snatched the soft toy from her, and tore her heart to many pieces. And God was just standing in the background, ignored. But when the next scene came, the people all surrounded the girl, and the girl was just in distressed. And God stepped in. He stopped all the other people. And he replaced the torn up heart with a new one...
I don't know why that skit touched me so much.. Its not like I never saw it - in fact, I still remember the original, which was by the Korean Group (I think the name was Joy) which came to our church when we were still in Chancery lane. But I felt very much for the whole thing.. Maybe the picture is just so tragic, and yet, beautiful...
Dear friends, when we descend the mountain of Transfiguration, and go back to the plains, please remember the visions and heart that was on the mountain. For while God is real up there and in all His glory, it is in the everyday that His love can be expressed, it is in the everyday that everything is actually done.
If camps have a keyword, it would be "Remember"
This is my 3rd camp so far (and my 1st full camp). The first was Hallius, with all the fish and all the networking on the streets of Changi Village (which made me now realize, hey, no wonder we had such trouble finding youths, since there are really few youths there). The second is last year's I-Faith. With all the 5 "I"s about God. Can't remember all the "I"s now, except for one particular one; that is, that God is an Invisible God, and so everyone who wants to come to God must first believe that He exists, and He rewards those who eagerly seek Him.
Unlike previous camps, I went into this one almost empty and bankrupt. Physically, the few days just prior to the camp was crazily busy in camp. There were times I was considering breaking camp on the 15th just to go back to finish my work. Somehow, I didn't. Instead, I decided not to bother about the unfinished portions. Alright, most parts had been done already, after the furious and mad rush the days before the camp.. But if you know me, I hate uncompleted things. They seem like heavy things over one's head.. I can't stand it. But for some reason, I just, let go. I just left camp. The other temptation would be to keep my phone with me. After-all, there was an inspection of my work on the 15th. And since I was not around, they would want to call me. And in fact, they did. But again, I just decided to put my phone into the plastic bag along with everyone else. If I had not, I would had split attention during the camp. Having to setting things left right and center.. that would totally spoil the mood of the camp. As it is, I could have those 3-4 days not needing to think about anything else. And the world did not implode in my absence. Spiritually, I was no better. For some time before the camp itself, QT suddenly became something of a drag, of a duty to me. There was no joy in it. In fact, I even missed a couple of days of QT, almost deliberately. It was not as if I didn't have time to do it. But I couldn't/didn't drag myself to it...
And of course, the camp itself was fraught with... Seriously, how am I supposed to lead a group? I think I can find just as many reasons or excuses as Moses lo...
But the camp went on. And some of you would have seen this many times already. It was a camp of giving, not receiving. The sessions I could understand, but they did not speak directly to my situation. The worship was wonderful, but it remains worship - adoring God. A total of one person prayed for me (to whom I am exceedingly grateful for). But I prayed for a few people. And though the giving seems to be more than the receiving, by the end of the camp, I was still filled up once again. It was just amazing... This is the first time that I dared to stand up and pray for people in these manner.. And its also a joy for me to see changes in my group members, as well as other people after the sessions..
But there was one scene which really touched my heart. It was the skit by the super Cambodians. Maybe its just for me, because this response is by no means universal (in fact, quite to the contrary). I fell in love with the first scene, that of creation, of God delighting in the girl and the girl delighting in God. The second scene of the parents quarreling and the girl trying to help by giving them the love that God gave her made me sad, when the parents crushed the heart and threw it on the floor. The next 2 scenes totally broke my heart, with the friends asking her to smoke, then tearing out a corner of the heart, and later, the guy who pushed her, snatched the soft toy from her, and tore her heart to many pieces. And God was just standing in the background, ignored. But when the next scene came, the people all surrounded the girl, and the girl was just in distressed. And God stepped in. He stopped all the other people. And he replaced the torn up heart with a new one...
I don't know why that skit touched me so much.. Its not like I never saw it - in fact, I still remember the original, which was by the Korean Group (I think the name was Joy) which came to our church when we were still in Chancery lane. But I felt very much for the whole thing.. Maybe the picture is just so tragic, and yet, beautiful...
Dear friends, when we descend the mountain of Transfiguration, and go back to the plains, please remember the visions and heart that was on the mountain. For while God is real up there and in all His glory, it is in the everyday that His love can be expressed, it is in the everyday that everything is actually done.
If camps have a keyword, it would be "Remember"
posted by P{ZM} at
7:01 PM
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